1 00:00:01,760 --> 00:00:03,864 The great thing about having close friends 2 00:00:03,865 --> 00:00:06,557 is that you get to celebrate life's little milestones together. 3 00:00:06,558 --> 00:00:08,214 I would like to propose a toast. 4 00:00:08,215 --> 00:00:10,699 To me... And my upcoming birthday! 5 00:00:10,700 --> 00:00:12,114 Cheers! 6 00:00:12,115 --> 00:00:13,598 Happy birthday! 7 00:00:13,599 --> 00:00:15,014 What is this, uh, 30... 8 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,705 I will be turning 35. 9 00:00:16,706 --> 00:00:18,465 Gross! 10 00:00:18,466 --> 00:00:20,088 Dude, I think that officially makes you 11 00:00:20,089 --> 00:00:21,296 the old man of the group. 12 00:00:21,297 --> 00:00:23,884 Not so fast. Grandpa here is 36. 13 00:00:23,885 --> 00:00:25,472 35 and three-quarters. 14 00:00:25,473 --> 00:00:27,854 You don't look a day over 50. And you don't act a day over 12. 15 00:00:27,855 --> 00:00:30,753 Old man fight! Old man fight! 16 00:00:30,754 --> 00:00:33,722 Old man fight! 17 00:00:33,723 --> 00:00:35,586 So what's your plan for the big day, man? 18 00:00:35,587 --> 00:00:37,450 Well, no one's ever thrown me a surprise party. 19 00:00:37,451 --> 00:00:39,314 So, I was thinking maybe you guys 20 00:00:39,315 --> 00:00:40,487 could surprise me with that. 21 00:00:40,488 --> 00:00:42,386 Yeah, see, Mike, if you're expecting it... 22 00:00:42,387 --> 00:00:44,043 Don't sell him short. 23 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,837 Mike could plan his own surprise party and still be surprised. 24 00:00:45,838 --> 00:00:47,805 No, no. I don't wanna plan it. 25 00:00:47,806 --> 00:00:49,427 I want you guys to take the ball and kinda run with it. 26 00:00:49,428 --> 00:00:51,326 I'm thinking 27 00:00:51,327 --> 00:00:54,915 party bus, beer kegs, paintball. Go! 28 00:00:54,916 --> 00:00:58,091 We are not getting drunk and playing paintball for your birthday. 29 00:00:58,092 --> 00:01:01,715 I might as well pre-dial 9 and 1 and get a head start. 30 00:01:01,716 --> 00:01:03,855 Hey, you guys. Hey, Steph! 31 00:01:03,856 --> 00:01:07,135 Okay, you are never gonna guess what I'm doing tomorrow. 32 00:01:07,136 --> 00:01:08,619 Going fishing. Driving to St. Louis. 33 00:01:08,620 --> 00:01:10,276 Creating a beautiful glass menagerie. 34 00:01:10,277 --> 00:01:14,797 I'm having lunch with a very important Hollywood producer. 35 00:01:14,798 --> 00:01:19,181 Josh Hellman wants to turn my book, You're a Great Guy, But..., 36 00:01:19,182 --> 00:01:20,734 into a movie! 37 00:01:20,735 --> 00:01:22,150 No way! That's awesome! Congratulations! 38 00:01:22,151 --> 00:01:23,841 That's amazing! How did that happen? 39 00:01:23,842 --> 00:01:26,395 My agent sent it to him and he really liked it 40 00:01:26,396 --> 00:01:29,674 and he's in town shooting this movie with Vince Vaughn and Drew Barrymore, 41 00:01:29,675 --> 00:01:31,538 so we're lunching. 42 00:01:31,539 --> 00:01:32,815 What's the Vince Vaughn movie? 43 00:01:32,816 --> 00:01:35,024 Dog trainers who fall in love at the dog show. 44 00:01:35,025 --> 00:01:37,061 And it's called, um... Shih Tzu Happens. 45 00:01:37,062 --> 00:01:38,752 Legal Beagles. 46 00:01:38,753 --> 00:01:40,444 That doesn't make any sense, man. Why would the dogs be lawyers? 47 00:01:40,445 --> 00:01:42,618 I don't know. Shih Tzu Happens makes sense? 48 00:01:42,619 --> 00:01:44,033 Can I get you a drink, Steph? 49 00:01:44,034 --> 00:01:45,794 Oh, hey. Yeah. Uh, red wine. 50 00:01:45,795 --> 00:01:48,037 Okay. Hey, you know what? Let me get it. 51 00:01:48,038 --> 00:01:49,660 Maybe if I suck up to you now 52 00:01:49,661 --> 00:01:50,626 you'll take me to the Oscars with you. 53 00:01:53,078 --> 00:01:55,873 And, Kenny, I was wondering if you wanted to come with me. 54 00:01:55,874 --> 00:01:58,427 'Cause I don't know why I'm so nervous, but I could really use the support. 55 00:01:58,428 --> 00:02:00,119 Yeah, absolutely. It'll be fun. 56 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,155 I might have to run a couple of ideas by him myself. 57 00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:04,537 Or just sit there and look cute. 58 00:02:04,538 --> 00:02:06,194 Oh. 59 00:02:06,195 --> 00:02:08,196 All right, dude! Enough with the constant texting. 60 00:02:08,197 --> 00:02:10,646 Who is she? Hayley. 61 00:02:10,647 --> 00:02:12,752 It's this bartender over at Danny's in Bucktown. 62 00:02:12,753 --> 00:02:15,341 Long brown hair, so hot. Oh, good Lord. 63 00:02:15,342 --> 00:02:17,239 She's got this panther tattoo that runs down 64 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:19,586 the entire right side of her body. 65 00:02:19,587 --> 00:02:21,416 Hello, kitty. 66 00:02:21,417 --> 00:02:22,796 You have no idea. 67 00:02:22,797 --> 00:02:24,350 You think she has any hot friends who might be interested 68 00:02:24,351 --> 00:02:25,523 in some drunken WhirlyBall? 69 00:02:25,524 --> 00:02:27,249 Dude, we are not playing WhirlyBall. 70 00:02:27,250 --> 00:02:28,768 Beer pong? No. 71 00:02:28,769 --> 00:02:30,563 Booze cruise? No. 72 00:02:30,564 --> 00:02:32,634 Color Me Mine? Color Me Mine? Drunk? 73 00:02:32,635 --> 00:02:34,014 I don't think you know what that is. 74 00:02:34,015 --> 00:02:35,533 Oh, you know what would be great? 75 00:02:35,534 --> 00:02:36,845 Bing-bong! 76 00:02:36,846 --> 00:02:39,261 "Hi, my name's Candy. 77 00:02:39,262 --> 00:02:42,678 "I'll be your plumber and I would like to fix your leak." 78 00:02:42,679 --> 00:02:44,404 Ew! What is he doing? 79 00:02:44,405 --> 00:02:46,820 Dude, that's like the worst sexy stripper talk I've ever heard. 80 00:02:46,821 --> 00:02:48,891 Hey, Bobby, we had a problem with your credit card. 81 00:02:48,892 --> 00:02:50,030 It wouldn't go through. 82 00:02:50,031 --> 00:02:51,273 Oh, that is so weird. 83 00:02:51,274 --> 00:02:53,379 That's the second time that's happened today. 84 00:02:53,380 --> 00:02:55,035 Um, sorry. 85 00:02:55,036 --> 00:02:57,624 Here, let me give you some cash. Thank you. 86 00:02:57,625 --> 00:02:59,626 That's weird. Why don't you call them tomorrow. 87 00:02:59,627 --> 00:03:03,182 That fraud protection thing turns my card off all the time. 88 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:05,149 You better that fixed by next Friday, Robert. 89 00:03:05,150 --> 00:03:07,393 When you surprise me with a bottle of Rumple Minze, some go-karts 90 00:03:07,394 --> 00:03:09,015 and a big game of dodgeball! 91 00:03:09,016 --> 00:03:10,604 No. We're not playing dodgeball! 92 00:03:18,267 --> 00:03:20,647 Yeah, I'll have a cup of decaf, 93 00:03:20,648 --> 00:03:22,546 and we're gonna split the chocolate lava cake. 94 00:03:24,342 --> 00:03:25,825 Oh, were you serious? 95 00:03:25,826 --> 00:03:27,378 That's amazing. 96 00:03:27,379 --> 00:03:29,898 I haven't seen somebody order a dessert in three years. 97 00:03:29,899 --> 00:03:33,039 Wow, you guys do it right in Chicago. Just go for it. 98 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:34,489 Yeah, well, we walk a lot here. 99 00:03:34,490 --> 00:03:35,939 That's the cutest thing I've ever heard. 100 00:03:37,182 --> 00:03:39,390 Walking. Could you imagine? 101 00:03:40,461 --> 00:03:41,806 Here's the deal, Stephanie. 102 00:03:41,807 --> 00:03:43,360 This book is amazing. 103 00:03:43,361 --> 00:03:46,190 Great title, great characters, great concept, 104 00:03:46,191 --> 00:03:49,228 and it's got that urban sensibility that I find... 105 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,160 Slammin'. Oh, thank you. 106 00:03:51,161 --> 00:03:53,439 My job is to take this book, that I love so much, 107 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:55,682 and turn it into a huge movie, 108 00:03:55,683 --> 00:03:58,789 ultimately a franchise. 109 00:03:58,790 --> 00:04:00,411 You're Still a Great Guy. 110 00:04:00,412 --> 00:04:03,138 You're a Great Girl. You're Great Parents. 111 00:04:03,139 --> 00:04:04,967 I mean, stop me, I could do this forever. 112 00:04:04,968 --> 00:04:06,210 You're a Great Mayor. 113 00:04:06,211 --> 00:04:07,695 You're a Great Vampire. 114 00:04:09,904 --> 00:04:11,146 Right? 115 00:04:11,147 --> 00:04:13,597 Oh, this is so exciting. 116 00:04:13,598 --> 00:04:15,530 Yes, it is. But I'm not sure exactly 117 00:04:15,531 --> 00:04:17,049 what that has to do with the book. 118 00:04:18,016 --> 00:04:20,259 Hilarious. Hey! 119 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,398 Do you like Ryan Reynolds? 120 00:04:21,399 --> 00:04:23,089 Sure! He's awesome. 121 00:04:23,090 --> 00:04:25,264 And ripped. I'm just saying. 122 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,404 You're just saying what? 123 00:04:27,405 --> 00:04:29,889 I gotta go. I gotta take this call. It's a notes call. 124 00:04:29,890 --> 00:04:31,994 I'm not gonna take notes. 125 00:04:31,995 --> 00:04:33,582 I'm gonna tell Fox to kiss my ass. You know what I'm saying, Doug. 126 00:04:33,583 --> 00:04:35,204 Kenny. My man. 127 00:04:35,205 --> 00:04:38,000 Well, thank you so much for lunch, Josh. 128 00:04:38,001 --> 00:04:40,037 And it was really great meeting you. 129 00:04:40,038 --> 00:04:42,039 Keep your schedule open for the next few days, okay? 130 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:44,041 'Cause we're going to get together and we're going to close this deal. 131 00:04:44,042 --> 00:04:46,250 Hi, you guys. Hey, is everyone on? 132 00:04:46,251 --> 00:04:48,908 Yeah, I'm still in Chicago. 133 00:04:51,946 --> 00:04:54,017 Yeah, I saw a guy in acid washed jeans. 134 00:04:54,742 --> 00:04:56,329 No, I'm not kidding. 135 00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:59,228 Did you hear that? What's wrong with acid washed jeans? 136 00:04:59,229 --> 00:05:01,438 God, I can't believe this is happening. 137 00:05:01,439 --> 00:05:03,163 And who should play me? 138 00:05:03,164 --> 00:05:04,304 Because there has to be a Stephanie character, right? 139 00:05:05,201 --> 00:05:07,098 Halle Berry! 140 00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:08,755 How crazy would that be? 141 00:05:08,756 --> 00:05:10,136 You're a Great Guy, But... 142 00:05:10,137 --> 00:05:12,621 starring Halle Berry. 143 00:05:12,622 --> 00:05:14,934 I can totally see the poster! 144 00:05:14,935 --> 00:05:16,625 Thank you. 145 00:05:16,626 --> 00:05:18,697 Good thing my acid washed jeans are pleated. 146 00:05:24,634 --> 00:05:26,083 Hey, P.J. So, uh, 147 00:05:26,084 --> 00:05:27,912 how are the plans for Mike-fest coming? 148 00:05:27,913 --> 00:05:29,362 Good. Why? 149 00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:31,226 Well, I had an idea, just in case you needed one. 150 00:05:31,227 --> 00:05:32,331 Sure. What is it? 151 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,229 A day at Six Flags, some WhirlyBall, 152 00:05:34,230 --> 00:05:36,127 dinner at Twin Anchors, followed by a pub crawl 153 00:05:36,128 --> 00:05:38,613 through Lincoln Park and Lakeview. 154 00:05:38,614 --> 00:05:41,926 Dude, just pick one thing for your birthday and we'll do it right. 155 00:05:41,927 --> 00:05:43,618 Okay... Pub crawl. 156 00:05:43,619 --> 00:05:46,103 Fine. 157 00:05:46,104 --> 00:05:47,829 Unless you guys are going to surprise me with a road trip 158 00:05:47,830 --> 00:05:49,900 to Champaign-Urbana? 159 00:05:49,901 --> 00:05:51,419 We are not. 160 00:05:51,420 --> 00:05:52,937 Fine. Pub crawl it is then. 161 00:05:52,938 --> 00:05:54,870 But let's go out at 11:00, like we used to. 162 00:05:54,871 --> 00:05:56,700 11:00? Yeah, we're way too old for that. 163 00:05:56,701 --> 00:05:58,011 I'm not ashamed to go to bed at 11:00. 164 00:05:58,012 --> 00:05:59,875 If I'm not in my pajamas by 11:00, 165 00:05:59,876 --> 00:06:01,912 something's gone terribly wrong. 166 00:06:01,913 --> 00:06:04,535 Alright. I say we pick a more age-appropriate time to go out. 167 00:06:04,536 --> 00:06:06,330 Like, say, 8:00. 168 00:06:06,331 --> 00:06:08,194 8:00? Come on. 169 00:06:08,195 --> 00:06:09,368 I'm not turning 100. 170 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,576 You kind of are. 171 00:06:10,577 --> 00:06:12,750 If we go out at 8:00, we'll hit more bars, 172 00:06:12,751 --> 00:06:15,615 increasing your chance of finding the future Mrs. Mike Callahan. 173 00:06:15,616 --> 00:06:19,378 Or, at the very least, your next incredibly awkward sexual experience. 174 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:23,174 Fine. 8:00 p.m., Friday night, we meet at Crowley's. 175 00:06:23,175 --> 00:06:25,901 Yeah, uh, Queens of the Stone Age are in town 176 00:06:25,902 --> 00:06:27,800 and Hayley wants me to go with so, uh, 177 00:06:27,801 --> 00:06:29,526 I'm going to have to play this one by ear. 178 00:06:29,527 --> 00:06:31,631 You can't play my birthday by ear. You're either in or you're out. 179 00:06:31,632 --> 00:06:33,599 Dude. Panther tattoo. 180 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,877 And if it wasn't my birthday I would high-five you, 181 00:06:35,878 --> 00:06:39,156 but you are super lame if you blow off Mike-fest 182 00:06:39,157 --> 00:06:40,985 for some bartender chick. 183 00:06:40,986 --> 00:06:43,816 Yeah, Brendan. There will be other bartender chicks, come on. 184 00:06:43,817 --> 00:06:45,542 But he's old. 185 00:06:45,543 --> 00:06:47,613 This could be his last birthday. 186 00:06:47,614 --> 00:06:49,960 Mike, I have a little conflict, too. 187 00:06:49,961 --> 00:06:51,375 Oh, no. Don't do this to me, poopy. 188 00:06:51,376 --> 00:06:53,619 No, no. That's the night that Josh is taking me to dinner 189 00:06:53,620 --> 00:06:55,241 to close my movie deal. 190 00:06:55,242 --> 00:06:56,518 Okay, now that's a good excuse. 191 00:06:56,519 --> 00:06:58,831 Uh, panther tattoo? No. 192 00:06:58,832 --> 00:07:00,419 Little bit? No! 193 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:01,937 I know it's Mike's birthday, 194 00:07:01,938 --> 00:07:03,560 but it would be nice if you could you meet me and Josh 195 00:07:03,561 --> 00:07:05,631 for a drink before dinner. 196 00:07:05,632 --> 00:07:08,047 I don't know. I don't know if, uh, 197 00:07:08,048 --> 00:07:09,945 that's a good idea. 198 00:07:09,946 --> 00:07:13,224 Um, he and I didn't really hit it off. 199 00:07:13,225 --> 00:07:14,502 What do you mean? 200 00:07:14,503 --> 00:07:18,057 I mean Josh is a tool bag 201 00:07:18,058 --> 00:07:19,645 and I'm not, so... 202 00:07:19,646 --> 00:07:21,785 Wait, my Josh? 203 00:07:21,786 --> 00:07:24,373 No. No, he's not. He was completely charming. 204 00:07:24,374 --> 00:07:26,203 Your Josh was kissing your ass 205 00:07:26,204 --> 00:07:27,584 because he wants your book. 206 00:07:27,585 --> 00:07:29,827 A book I guarantee, by the way, he didn't read. 207 00:07:29,828 --> 00:07:31,795 Of course he read it. He said it was great. 208 00:07:31,796 --> 00:07:33,969 He said it had a great title. 209 00:07:33,970 --> 00:07:35,799 Look, look, look. I have a solution to this. 210 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:37,421 Do you want to bring Josh to the pub crawl? 211 00:07:37,422 --> 00:07:39,009 Uh, no, if he's a total tool bag, 212 00:07:39,010 --> 00:07:40,562 he should not come on the pub crawl. 213 00:07:40,563 --> 00:07:41,977 Dude, you're not coming to the pub crawl. 214 00:07:41,978 --> 00:07:44,083 I'm playing it by ear. What does that even mean? 215 00:07:44,084 --> 00:07:46,292 I can't believe you're not being more supportive. 216 00:07:46,293 --> 00:07:47,914 I am supportive. I'm telling you, 217 00:07:47,915 --> 00:07:49,640 this guy is going to ruin your book. 218 00:07:49,641 --> 00:07:53,506 All right, fine. I will go to dinner alone and you can just... 219 00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:55,957 Just be that way. Oh, I'm gonna be that way. 220 00:07:55,958 --> 00:07:57,614 Because being that way is right. 221 00:07:57,615 --> 00:07:59,995 When he gets this way at work, I give him a granola bar. 222 00:07:59,996 --> 00:08:02,101 Because sometimes he's just hungry. 223 00:08:02,102 --> 00:08:03,930 Hey, guys. Hey, Bobby. 224 00:08:03,931 --> 00:08:05,449 Sorry I'm late. 225 00:08:05,450 --> 00:08:08,038 You are not gonna believe what I've been dealing with. 226 00:08:08,039 --> 00:08:09,454 Flat tire? Buffalo stampede? 227 00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:12,249 Creating a beautiful glass menagerie? 228 00:08:12,250 --> 00:08:13,802 See more than one play. 229 00:08:13,803 --> 00:08:14,976 What happened, Bobby? 230 00:08:14,977 --> 00:08:17,219 Well, I haven't gotten the full story yet, 231 00:08:17,220 --> 00:08:21,258 but according to my brother, Jack, it sounds like 232 00:08:21,259 --> 00:08:24,504 my dad invested our entire family fund 233 00:08:25,194 --> 00:08:26,539 with Marvin Fisher. 234 00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:28,161 Oh! 235 00:08:28,162 --> 00:08:29,749 Marvin Fisher the Ponzi scheme guy? 236 00:08:29,750 --> 00:08:32,131 The $25 billion Ponzi scheme guy? 237 00:08:32,132 --> 00:08:33,857 Well, that wasn't always his title. 238 00:08:33,858 --> 00:08:35,617 We actually used to call him Uncle Marvin. 239 00:08:35,618 --> 00:08:38,827 So you're basically saying that the Newman family fortune went... 240 00:08:40,934 --> 00:08:44,039 Yeah, but, you know, there's a bunch of lawyers working on it now 241 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:46,352 and the truth is, it's hard to believe that 242 00:08:46,353 --> 00:08:48,423 that much money could just disappear. 243 00:08:48,424 --> 00:08:50,356 Are you okay? Is there anything we can do? 244 00:08:50,357 --> 00:08:54,429 I'm fine. I mean, all my accounts are frozen, which is kinda crazy, 245 00:08:54,430 --> 00:08:56,638 but, you know, I'm sure they're going to sort the whole thing out. 246 00:08:56,639 --> 00:08:58,433 Maybe we should just reschedule the pub crawl. 247 00:08:58,434 --> 00:09:00,262 Steph's got the dinner, 248 00:09:00,263 --> 00:09:02,299 and Bobby's got a lot going on, and Brendan's lame... 249 00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:03,576 I know it's your birthday and all, dude, 250 00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:04,888 but it's not like it's a big one. 251 00:09:04,889 --> 00:09:07,407 Actually, Brendan, it kind of is. 252 00:09:07,408 --> 00:09:09,375 I know I've been a little vague about my age before, 253 00:09:09,376 --> 00:09:11,965 but the truth of the matter is that I'm not turning 35. 254 00:09:12,793 --> 00:09:13,793 I am turning 40. 255 00:09:13,794 --> 00:09:15,174 40? Really? What? 256 00:09:15,175 --> 00:09:17,072 Even more gross! No! 257 00:09:17,073 --> 00:09:19,247 In your face! 40! 258 00:09:19,248 --> 00:09:22,353 35 and three-quarters, 40! 259 00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:24,459 You know what I want for my birthday? 260 00:09:24,460 --> 00:09:26,668 Just for one day, I would like you to be nice to me. 261 00:09:26,669 --> 00:09:28,774 How 'bout I get you a hip replacement and a bucket of fiber. 262 00:09:28,775 --> 00:09:31,742 Old man fight! Old man fight! 263 00:09:31,743 --> 00:09:35,056 You cannot play WhirlyBall on your 40th birthday. 264 00:09:35,057 --> 00:09:36,575 You'll die. 265 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:37,852 I never thought I'd live this long. 266 00:09:45,964 --> 00:09:47,241 Surprise! 267 00:09:48,484 --> 00:09:50,312 No? No. 268 00:09:50,313 --> 00:09:53,213 But happy birthday! Happy birthday! 269 00:09:53,938 --> 00:09:55,179 Okay, okay. 270 00:09:55,180 --> 00:09:57,319 Okay. Here's the deal with the pub crawl. 271 00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:59,943 We order a drink, we drink it, we move on. 272 00:09:59,944 --> 00:10:02,739 We do not get comfortable at any one location, because 273 00:10:02,740 --> 00:10:04,672 I have a list of about 24 bars here that... 274 00:10:04,673 --> 00:10:05,983 Four bars. 275 00:10:05,984 --> 00:10:07,536 Four bars? Four. 276 00:10:07,537 --> 00:10:10,056 Come on. It's a pub crawl. 277 00:10:10,057 --> 00:10:11,782 Hi, I'm Mike. Hi, Mike. 278 00:10:11,783 --> 00:10:15,027 Yeah, I tried to drink at 24 bars on my birthday, 279 00:10:15,028 --> 00:10:18,478 and my liver shut down somewhere between Fullerton and Belmont. 280 00:10:18,479 --> 00:10:19,583 Hey, guys. 281 00:10:19,584 --> 00:10:21,689 Oh! Hey! 282 00:10:21,690 --> 00:10:23,380 Well, there's a surprise. 283 00:10:23,381 --> 00:10:24,933 Look who decided to show up for my 40th. 284 00:10:24,934 --> 00:10:26,348 Well, I mean, what's more important, man? 285 00:10:26,349 --> 00:10:28,385 Your birthday or some hot bartender chick, right? 286 00:10:28,386 --> 00:10:29,628 That's what I'm talking about. 287 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:30,732 You ready? Hell, yeah. 288 00:10:30,733 --> 00:10:32,528 Let's put those drinking helmets on. 289 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,462 Pub crawl! Woo-hoo! 290 00:10:38,223 --> 00:10:40,604 Well? Oh, I'm gonna hook up with her later. 291 00:10:40,605 --> 00:10:42,123 Dude, you're the worst. Oh, come on, P.J. 292 00:10:42,124 --> 00:10:43,952 She's got this tattoo... I don't want to hear it. 293 00:10:43,953 --> 00:10:45,195 No, but she's really good with... No, seriously. 294 00:10:45,196 --> 00:10:46,852 And she's... Don't say it. 295 00:10:46,853 --> 00:10:48,820 But she can tie knots with... Dude! I will punch you. 296 00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:50,926 Pub crawl! 297 00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:01,038 And I also had a thought... Okay. I'm so sorry. 298 00:11:01,039 --> 00:11:03,834 This dog movie's become a zit on my ass. 299 00:11:03,835 --> 00:11:05,836 We had to fire our lead. 300 00:11:05,837 --> 00:11:08,425 You know how hard it is to find a purebred French bulldog in this city 301 00:11:08,426 --> 00:11:09,564 that's funny? 302 00:11:11,187 --> 00:11:12,567 Oh... Yeah. 303 00:11:12,568 --> 00:11:14,396 Wow, I'm sorry. 304 00:11:14,397 --> 00:11:15,571 Now, you. 305 00:11:16,261 --> 00:11:17,814 You, you. 306 00:11:17,815 --> 00:11:20,195 You and your amazing book. 307 00:11:20,196 --> 00:11:22,439 Are we doing this? Are we getting into bed together? 308 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:24,337 And I don't mean for that. I mean... 309 00:11:24,338 --> 00:11:25,407 To make a lot of money. 310 00:11:25,408 --> 00:11:26,961 Wow. 311 00:11:26,962 --> 00:11:28,825 Well, Josh, I am so excited. 312 00:11:28,826 --> 00:11:30,067 Aw. I am. 313 00:11:30,068 --> 00:11:32,069 And I had this idea 314 00:11:32,070 --> 00:11:35,555 that maybe Zoe Saldana could play the lead. 315 00:11:35,556 --> 00:11:38,006 You know. She was in Guess Who and Avatar... 316 00:11:38,007 --> 00:11:40,353 Yeah, no, I know who she is. Yeah. 317 00:11:40,354 --> 00:11:42,978 Uh, not for this. No. 318 00:11:43,841 --> 00:11:45,290 This is Sandy Bullock. 319 00:11:46,326 --> 00:11:48,051 This is... 320 00:11:48,052 --> 00:11:51,123 You're a great guy, but I'm too crazy to see it until it's too late. 321 00:11:51,124 --> 00:11:55,265 And so I get a job as a caterer and I mess up your wedding. 322 00:11:55,266 --> 00:11:57,716 Laugh-laugh-laugh-laugh, the end. Ka-ching! 323 00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,580 But, shouldn't it be a movie about a woman 324 00:12:00,581 --> 00:12:02,893 who finds the courage and the strength 325 00:12:02,894 --> 00:12:04,446 to leave a lousy situation? 326 00:12:04,447 --> 00:12:06,726 I mean, that is the premise of the book. 327 00:12:07,692 --> 00:12:09,383 Uh, I'm making a comedy. 328 00:12:10,350 --> 00:12:11,626 And... 329 00:12:11,627 --> 00:12:15,285 You just pitched me a Hilary Swank film, so... 330 00:12:15,286 --> 00:12:17,528 You know, I've been to Sundance and it's very cold. 331 00:12:17,529 --> 00:12:19,462 Josh, can I ask you something? Yeah. 332 00:12:20,498 --> 00:12:22,776 Did you even read the book? 333 00:12:24,398 --> 00:12:27,055 I guess I don't, uh... 334 00:12:27,056 --> 00:12:28,574 I'm not sure what kind of question that is. 335 00:12:28,575 --> 00:12:29,955 I don't understand your question. 336 00:12:29,956 --> 00:12:32,302 It's just that based on what you said, 337 00:12:32,303 --> 00:12:34,442 it doesn't seem like you actually read my book. 338 00:12:34,443 --> 00:12:35,685 Time out here. 339 00:12:36,376 --> 00:12:37,514 Let's get real real, 340 00:12:37,515 --> 00:12:39,136 okay? Okay. 341 00:12:39,137 --> 00:12:42,726 You've done your job. You wrote a book with a great title. 342 00:12:42,727 --> 00:12:45,694 Now, let daddy take it, make it into something. 343 00:12:45,695 --> 00:12:48,939 And then you and Doug, you can walk down a red carpet, you know? 344 00:12:50,183 --> 00:12:51,908 Oh. Oh! 345 00:12:51,909 --> 00:12:54,738 Stephanie! Stephanie! Big smile! Big smile! Stephanie! Stephanie! 346 00:12:54,739 --> 00:12:55,981 Stephanie! Stephanie! 347 00:12:55,982 --> 00:12:57,224 You're welcome. 348 00:12:59,433 --> 00:13:01,503 Why did we have to leave Belden Tap? I love that place. 349 00:13:01,504 --> 00:13:03,471 You know the rules, captain. 350 00:13:03,472 --> 00:13:04,921 You don't get too emotionally attached to any one place, 351 00:13:04,922 --> 00:13:06,508 'cause you are playing the field! 352 00:13:06,509 --> 00:13:08,614 Ah, you know what, guys? This is my brother. 353 00:13:08,615 --> 00:13:10,617 Uh, excuse me. One sec. 354 00:13:11,687 --> 00:13:13,619 Oh, man. Poor Bobby. 355 00:13:13,620 --> 00:13:16,933 Can you imagine trying to sort through such a huge financial mess? 356 00:13:16,934 --> 00:13:20,074 Actually, I can. I run a business with Rip Van Winkle. 357 00:13:20,075 --> 00:13:22,559 Okay, let's find you some almonds. 358 00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:23,905 What do you know? 359 00:13:23,906 --> 00:13:25,700 Time sure flies when you're having fun. 360 00:13:25,701 --> 00:13:27,184 Oh, Brendo, don't do it. 361 00:13:27,185 --> 00:13:29,428 Hey, dude, pub crawl, awesome. 362 00:13:29,429 --> 00:13:31,257 Should make this an annual event. 363 00:13:31,258 --> 00:13:33,846 Wait, where are you going? We've only gone to two bars. 364 00:13:33,847 --> 00:13:35,054 Happy birthday, buddy! 365 00:13:35,055 --> 00:13:37,574 You are so lame! How can you do that. 366 00:13:37,575 --> 00:13:38,886 How can he do that? 367 00:13:38,887 --> 00:13:40,715 Dude. Panther tattoo. 368 00:13:40,716 --> 00:13:42,751 Uh, you guys, I'm so sorry to do this, 369 00:13:42,752 --> 00:13:44,719 but we need to make an emergency stop 370 00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:46,652 at my apartment. Like, right now. 371 00:13:46,653 --> 00:13:49,551 Evidently the feds are seizing all our assets 372 00:13:49,552 --> 00:13:51,796 and they're coming to pick everything up. 373 00:13:57,526 --> 00:14:00,079 Another great thing about having a big group of friends 374 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:02,530 is that you can turn to your team when things go south. 375 00:14:02,531 --> 00:14:04,221 All right, what's the plan? 376 00:14:04,222 --> 00:14:05,878 Um... Okay, Mike, you look for valuables. 377 00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:07,742 Bobby, let's grab important photos and documents. 378 00:14:07,743 --> 00:14:10,987 Kenny, there is a 40-year old bottle of Laphroaig in the pantry. 379 00:14:10,988 --> 00:14:13,748 Some things get better with age. And some things don't. 380 00:14:13,749 --> 00:14:15,681 Seriously, Mike, take anything you want. 381 00:14:15,682 --> 00:14:17,165 Consider it an early birthday gift. 382 00:14:17,166 --> 00:14:18,787 Who's that? 383 00:14:18,788 --> 00:14:21,514 Cornelius Newman. My grandfather. 384 00:14:21,515 --> 00:14:24,207 He's very clean. I want this. 385 00:14:24,208 --> 00:14:25,656 Go ahead, man. Knock yourself out. 386 00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:27,348 That is your birthday present. 387 00:14:27,349 --> 00:14:30,283 All right, Grandpa. Let's go. You're coming with me. 388 00:14:31,940 --> 00:14:34,286 Hey, I'm just assuming we should take all these files. 389 00:14:34,287 --> 00:14:36,461 Oh, you know what? We should grab those photos. 390 00:14:37,635 --> 00:14:39,878 Oh, Dad. 391 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,881 This was really, 392 00:14:42,467 --> 00:14:43,951 really dumb. 393 00:14:43,952 --> 00:14:45,988 This can all still get worked out, right? 394 00:14:47,403 --> 00:14:49,302 No, it's definitely over. 395 00:14:51,476 --> 00:14:53,719 I am so sorry. 396 00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:56,135 It's the weirdest feeling. 397 00:14:56,136 --> 00:14:57,550 I mean, 398 00:14:57,551 --> 00:14:59,691 it's hard to wrap your brain around losing 399 00:15:00,347 --> 00:15:01,659 all of your money, 400 00:15:02,384 --> 00:15:04,005 everything. 401 00:15:04,006 --> 00:15:06,215 I mean, it doesn't even feel real. 402 00:15:08,217 --> 00:15:09,978 I don't know what to say. 403 00:15:11,462 --> 00:15:13,394 There's nothing to say except... 404 00:15:13,395 --> 00:15:14,465 Dude! 405 00:15:17,433 --> 00:15:19,470 Cornie, you could stand to lose a few pounds. 406 00:15:20,643 --> 00:15:22,610 Is this the Newman residence? Yeah. 407 00:15:22,611 --> 00:15:24,198 We're here to seize your assets. 408 00:15:24,199 --> 00:15:25,752 Hey, Bobby! There's two... 409 00:15:27,823 --> 00:15:30,859 Wait a minute. 410 00:15:30,860 --> 00:15:33,793 Wait a minute. 411 00:15:33,794 --> 00:15:37,832 I can't believe you guys concocted all of this for the... 412 00:15:38,903 --> 00:15:40,317 I'm the birthday boy. 413 00:15:40,318 --> 00:15:42,181 I'm sorry, sir, you're gonna have to step back. 414 00:15:42,182 --> 00:15:44,114 What are you gonna do, arrest me? 415 00:15:44,115 --> 00:15:46,427 You're already seizing my assets. 416 00:15:46,428 --> 00:15:47,531 Mike, what are you doing? 417 00:15:47,532 --> 00:15:49,982 Dude, you are awesome. 418 00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:51,708 Watch this, I'm about to get searched. 419 00:15:51,709 --> 00:15:53,330 Frisk me! Frisk me! 420 00:15:53,331 --> 00:15:55,056 Okay, sir. You need to stop right there. 421 00:15:55,057 --> 00:15:56,540 Why? 'Cause I might have a concealed... 422 00:16:08,036 --> 00:16:10,106 This is the weirdest night of my life. 423 00:16:10,107 --> 00:16:13,454 Man, I was not drunk enough for a taze. 424 00:16:13,455 --> 00:16:15,974 I've never heard you make a sound like that before. 425 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,803 I don't ever want to hear it again. 426 00:16:17,804 --> 00:16:20,668 Well, better me than Robert. 427 00:16:20,669 --> 00:16:23,395 Yeah, I wasn't really in danger of being tazed, Mike. 428 00:16:23,396 --> 00:16:25,362 On the plus side, 429 00:16:25,363 --> 00:16:26,225 I always wondered what a good, solid taze would feel like, 430 00:16:26,226 --> 00:16:27,571 and now I know. 431 00:16:27,572 --> 00:16:28,745 I only peed a drop. 432 00:16:28,746 --> 00:16:30,195 Welcome to your forties. 433 00:16:30,196 --> 00:16:31,472 Hey, I don't know about you guys, 434 00:16:31,473 --> 00:16:34,371 but I could really use a drink or three. 435 00:16:34,372 --> 00:16:37,236 You wanna head to Crowley's for one last round? 436 00:16:37,237 --> 00:16:38,962 Are you sure you're up for it? 437 00:16:38,963 --> 00:16:40,412 Yeah. 438 00:16:40,413 --> 00:16:42,724 I don't know, man. I'm sore, I can't feel my feet, 439 00:16:42,725 --> 00:16:44,588 and the inside of my mouth tastes like sulfur. 440 00:16:44,589 --> 00:16:47,523 Am I the only one who's surprised that tonight was Mike's first taze? 441 00:16:49,870 --> 00:16:52,010 You guys, let's just have one drink and then call it a night, huh? 442 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,357 Yeah, for sure. Absolutely. 443 00:16:54,358 --> 00:16:56,014 Surprise! Surprise! 444 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:58,671 I can't believe you threw me a surprise party! 445 00:16:58,672 --> 00:17:01,433 Oh, this is amazing! Aw, you guys rock! 446 00:17:01,434 --> 00:17:03,504 Thank you. You totally got me. 447 00:17:03,505 --> 00:17:05,402 Happy birthday! 448 00:17:05,403 --> 00:17:06,507 Thank you. 449 00:17:06,508 --> 00:17:08,405 You! Let's touch 'em. 450 00:17:08,406 --> 00:17:10,925 Come on. 451 00:17:10,926 --> 00:17:12,547 That's all I wanted! Just a little bit of sugar. 452 00:17:13,963 --> 00:17:15,826 Dude, I think you peed more than just a drop. 453 00:17:15,827 --> 00:17:18,277 Eh, maybe a little. You. Me. Boop! 454 00:17:18,278 --> 00:17:21,073 Hey, who wants a drink? Huh? 455 00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:24,387 'Cause they're buying! Let's do it! 456 00:17:29,117 --> 00:17:30,531 Did you do all this? 457 00:17:30,532 --> 00:17:32,809 Maybe. It was tough, though. 458 00:17:32,810 --> 00:17:36,123 You're like that annoying kid who tears through the house before Christmas, 459 00:17:36,124 --> 00:17:37,779 looking for presents. 460 00:17:37,780 --> 00:17:40,161 Creepy bathroom in the basement, check. Found 'em every time. 461 00:17:40,162 --> 00:17:41,611 Happy birthday, Mike. Thank you. 462 00:17:41,612 --> 00:17:43,061 Hey, you guys. Hey. 463 00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,476 Happy birthday, Mike. Thank you, poopy. 464 00:17:44,477 --> 00:17:45,580 Mwah! 465 00:17:45,581 --> 00:17:46,720 You. 466 00:17:47,790 --> 00:17:50,344 Ooh! 467 00:17:50,345 --> 00:17:52,760 I hate you. What'd I do now? 468 00:17:52,761 --> 00:17:55,073 You were right. 469 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:58,283 Josh turned out to be a giant tool... 470 00:17:58,284 --> 00:17:59,560 Box. Bag. 471 00:17:59,561 --> 00:18:01,424 Well, he was both then. 472 00:18:01,425 --> 00:18:03,771 It was totally clear he didn't read my book. 473 00:18:03,772 --> 00:18:06,360 And he was definitely going to ruin it. 474 00:18:06,361 --> 00:18:08,845 So, the deal is off. 475 00:18:08,846 --> 00:18:10,640 I'm really sorry, Steph. 476 00:18:10,641 --> 00:18:12,814 I told Josh I wasn't going to let him turn You're a Great Guy, But... 477 00:18:12,815 --> 00:18:14,851 into some crappy movie. 478 00:18:14,852 --> 00:18:17,025 Wow. Good for you. 479 00:18:17,026 --> 00:18:18,303 I'm sure he took that well. 480 00:18:18,304 --> 00:18:21,133 He suddenly became "The Josh." 481 00:18:21,134 --> 00:18:23,204 "No one says no to The Josh! 482 00:18:23,205 --> 00:18:25,517 "The Josh is going to bury you!" 483 00:18:25,518 --> 00:18:27,726 And then The Josh called me "girlfriend." 484 00:18:27,727 --> 00:18:29,798 I wouldn't call you that and you are my girlfriend. 485 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,938 Hey. 486 00:18:32,939 --> 00:18:34,388 Well, well, well. Look what the panther dragged in. 487 00:18:34,389 --> 00:18:37,149 I am so sorry for bailing on you. 488 00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:39,220 All right? That was way out of line. 489 00:18:39,221 --> 00:18:42,050 Keep talking. The combination of beer and cake 490 00:18:42,051 --> 00:18:43,535 has put me in a very charitable mood. 491 00:18:43,536 --> 00:18:44,984 Well, you know, I was at the show and I'm thinking, 492 00:18:44,985 --> 00:18:47,401 "Hey. What the hell am I doing? This isn't right." 493 00:18:47,402 --> 00:18:49,506 So I completely blew off Hayley. 494 00:18:49,507 --> 00:18:51,646 Hey, thanks a lot, man. That means a lot to me. You got it, Mike. 495 00:18:51,647 --> 00:18:53,061 Bring it in. There you go, pal. 496 00:18:53,062 --> 00:18:54,442 Happy birthday. Thanks. 497 00:18:54,443 --> 00:18:56,203 I'm going to pass out cake. 498 00:18:56,204 --> 00:18:58,032 Who wants cake? 499 00:18:58,033 --> 00:18:59,828 Get your own. Ha-ha! 500 00:19:01,381 --> 00:19:04,211 So, she bailed on you, did she? 501 00:19:04,212 --> 00:19:07,214 Yeah, yeah. She's sleeping with one of the guys in the band. 502 00:19:07,215 --> 00:19:08,387 She just didn't want to go to the show alone. 503 00:19:08,388 --> 00:19:10,114 Surprise, surprise. Yeah. 504 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,598 Such an idiot. 505 00:19:12,599 --> 00:19:14,945 Brendo, come on, dude. I mean, 506 00:19:14,946 --> 00:19:17,672 a giant panther tattoo doesn't exactly scream, 507 00:19:17,673 --> 00:19:19,536 "Hey, I'm completely stable." 508 00:19:19,537 --> 00:19:21,193 More like, "Ooh, hepatitis C!" 509 00:19:22,540 --> 00:19:24,438 Hey, everybody, a toast to Mike! 510 00:19:28,028 --> 00:19:30,823 To Old Man Callahan. 511 00:19:30,824 --> 00:19:33,757 Even though he chases kids off his lawn. 512 00:19:33,758 --> 00:19:35,759 And eats dinner at 5:00 p.m. 513 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:38,935 And cuts out articles he thinks we'll all find interesting. 514 00:19:38,936 --> 00:19:41,593 And is a member of the greatest generation... 515 00:19:41,594 --> 00:19:43,595 We still love him. Cheers! 516 00:19:47,945 --> 00:19:49,497 Hey, are you guys ready to roll? 517 00:19:49,498 --> 00:19:51,569 Uh, yeah, let me close my tab out. Cool. 518 00:19:54,365 --> 00:19:56,780 Hey, how you doing? You okay? 519 00:19:56,781 --> 00:19:58,610 Yeah, yeah. You know. 520 00:19:58,611 --> 00:20:03,062 A little numb. Broke. Homeless. 521 00:20:03,063 --> 00:20:06,065 On that note, actually, can I spend the night at your place? 522 00:20:06,066 --> 00:20:08,102 Gosh, numb, broke and homeless. 523 00:20:08,103 --> 00:20:10,863 Now that's a sexy combo. Absolutely. 524 00:20:10,864 --> 00:20:13,211 Actually, I might need to spend 525 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,868 the next few weeks at your place. Is that cool? 526 00:20:15,869 --> 00:20:18,043 Of course. 527 00:20:18,044 --> 00:20:20,770 Hey, look, I know what you're going through must be just... 528 00:20:20,771 --> 00:20:22,392 Terrible, 529 00:20:22,393 --> 00:20:25,430 but you gotta look on the bright side, you know? 530 00:20:25,431 --> 00:20:26,741 At least you're not 40. 531 00:20:26,742 --> 00:20:28,571 Thank God! 532 00:20:28,572 --> 00:20:30,469 Hit it? Yeah. 533 00:20:30,470 --> 00:20:33,748 It's good to have close friends to share life's surprises with. 534 00:20:33,749 --> 00:20:36,924 Because no matter how much you prepare for them, or even ask for them, 535 00:20:36,925 --> 00:20:38,684 they can still sneak up on you. 536 00:20:38,685 --> 00:20:39,996 Happy birthday, bud. Thank you. Thanks again. 537 00:20:39,997 --> 00:20:42,757 Happy birthday. I'm right behind you. 538 00:20:42,758 --> 00:20:45,381 Alright, let me cash out here with you, Matt. 539 00:20:45,382 --> 00:20:47,211 No way, Mike. This one's on the house. 540 00:20:47,867 --> 00:20:48,901 Thank you. 541 00:20:48,902 --> 00:20:50,697 Hey, nice picture. 542 00:20:51,974 --> 00:20:53,423 43, huh? 543 00:20:53,424 --> 00:20:54,976 Happy birthday. 544 00:20:54,977 --> 00:20:56,185 Thanks.